雲日記｜My Cloudy Diary

［ 'Cause I thought you had me in prison this whole time

But I'm the one holdin' the keys ］

 

What, are you scared of me? That's embarassin'

怎樣，你在害怕我嗎？那可真夠尷尬的

If it wasn't for me, you would've never wrote Therapy

如果沒有我的話，你根本不可能寫出《Therapy Session》

I've been here for you, but how come you're never there for me?

我總是在背後支持著你，但你怎麼從來沒有為我做過任何事？

It's a little bit twisted, but I miss when you and I had scary dreams

說起來有點扭曲，但我懷念我們一起做噩夢的時候

I don't really wanna talk about it

我不是很想談論這個

Well, that's too bad now, Nate

好吧，那真的是太糟了，Nate

Shut up!

閉嘴！

Now, where were we?

我們說到哪裡了？

Well, back in the day when

You and I had it all mapped out in the basement

想想從前我們總一起在地下室規劃著未來

Cryin' in your room like a baby

在你的房間哭得像個小孩

"I wish mom was here!"

「我想要媽媽在我身邊」

We all do so we wouldn't have to hear about it 

我們都想 這樣我們才不用聽到那些爭吵聲

Every single record You don't really wanna change me

每張專輯都有我的影子，你不是真的想要改變我

Yeah, I'm the one that made this happen

對，我才是讓你功成名就的原因

Do you really wanna get rid of your main attraction?

你真的想要捨棄你最大的賣點嗎？

Let's pack our bags and go back to Gladwin now

那不如現在就打包行李回老家去吧

Yeah, it's time for the third record

是的，是時候推出第三張專輯了

And you know I got the content

而你知道我會給你想要的靈感

I don't wanna make you nervous

我不想讓你更加緊張

But it ain't like it used to be, we got a lotta people watchin'

但一切已經和以前不同了，有成千上萬雙眼睛盯著我們

You told me that you don't want me in your life, that's pretty hard to digest

你告訴我不希望介入你的生活，那可真是有點讓我難受

And I told you I'd leave when we die, and we ain't died yet

我早就告訴過你我會在我們死後就離開，而我們還沒死呢

Therapy Session was beautiful, Nate, but I'm wonderin' what's comin' next

上一張專輯非常成功，但我懷疑你接下來能給出什麼

Yeah, get that stupid hat off of your head when I'm talkin' to you, you hear what I said?

和我說話的時候把那頂愚蠢的帽子摘掉，你有在聽嗎？

You don't like the prison I built you?

你不喜歡我為你打造的監牢嗎？

Yeah, you wanna know what the funny thing is?

可是你知道最好笑的事情是什麼嗎？

You keep on talkin' to me like a stranger

你不斷的將我視為一個陌生人

But we've been together since you were a kid (kid), yeah

但我們從小就形影不離了！

Took us from a no-name

是我把我們抽離無名小卒的困境

Told you everything was okay

我告訴你一切都會沒事的

Now you tryna cut me out of it like I ain't never been a part of it

而你現在試圖想要把我排除在外，表現得像是我從來就沒有參與過

I am the heart of it, I made this whole thing

我才是你的核心，是我創造了一切

Yeah, I put us on the dope stage, you must have no brain

我讓我們能夠站上最大的舞台，你是沒有腦子嗎？

What's the point of having guns if you can't aim?

不能瞄準的話，舉槍有什麼意義？

What's the point of havin' blood with no veins?

沒有血管的血液有什麼用處？

What's the point of havin' love with no pain?

如果沒有感受到痛苦的愛又算是什麼？

What I'm sayin' is me without you doesn't make any sense

我想要說的是，我們的存在是相輔相成的

I know I'm intense and controlling

我知道我有一點歇斯底里也是個控制狂

But you need to learn how to cope with it, that's just the way that it is

但你需要學著如何去接受，這是唯一的辦法

If you didn't want me to live in your house, you shouldn't have let me move in

如果你不想要我住進你的房子，你從一開始就不該讓我搬進去

It's comfortable here and I like it

這裡很舒適而我也很喜歡

I got my own room and everything, it don't get better than this

我還有自己的房間，想要什麼就有什麼，不會有比這個更好的了！

You say you wanna own your life, then wake up and take your own advice

你說你想要自己的人生，那就醒醒，自己做選擇

You just mad 'cause you know I'm right

你很生氣是因為你知道我是對的

Yeah, I'm flattered you put me in Mansion, but you shoulda told 'em right

你把我放進專輯裡讓我感到受寵若驚，但你應該和他們說些實話

Hold your hands on the coldest nights

在寒冷的夜裡握緊自己的雙手

You didn't tell 'em 'bout the times you and I used to hold the mic

你沒有告訴他們那些我和你一起握著麥克風的日子

I mean, what are you, outta your mind?

我是說，難道你瘋了嗎？

'Cause both of us will be, come on, let's go outside!

因為我們最終都一樣，來吧我們去外面談！

Is this what you wanted?

難道這就是你想要的嗎？

Both of us out in the open? Let's do it then!

讓我們兩個都攤牌嗎？那就這樣做吧！

I mean, why are you doin' this?

我是說，為什麼你要這樣做？

I know that you're mad (that you're mad), but I'm not in the mood for this

我知道你很生氣，但我實在沒有心情吵這個

We got a record to drop (drop)

我們還有一張專輯要錄

So why you actin' like I'm not a part of it?

所以你為什麼表現的我從來不是這的一份子？

Aye, where is my shovel at?

我的鏟子在哪裡？

Prolly out back where it always is

大概在後面，他一直都放在那裏

You can't get rid of all of me!

你不可能擺脫的掉我的！

I'm the reason why-

我才是你—

Nah, shut up, I don't wanna hear another sentence

閉嘴吧我不想再聽到任何話

Hey, I'm NF"Is it me or the fear talkin'?" Ha! What a dumb question!

「是我還是恐懼在說話？」多愚蠢的問題阿！

Yeah, it's real music 'til the day we die, right?

不是說好了「做真音樂直到我們死的那天」嗎？

Yeah, ain't that the slogan, Nathan?

這難道不是我們的招牌嗎？

Thought I told you to keep your mouth shut

我不是叫你閉嘴了嗎！

I mean, so what? You know I never listen

又怎麼樣！你知道我從來沒有聽進去！

Let me guess, we gon' dig a hole, kill the track and prolly put a beat in it

讓我猜，我們會挖個洞，把那些歌都丟進去，再放點節奏進去

Rap about it for like three minutes

就像這樣唱個大概三分鐘

Ayy, that's pretty deep, isn't it?

喂，已經挖的夠深了吧？

Wait a minute, you don't really think for a second that you're puttin' me in this?

等一下，你不會真的想要把我埋起來吧？

No, of course not, just a little deeper then we'll go inside and we can stop diggin' (woo)

當然不是，挖得更深一點等我們可以一起躺進去，我就不會再挖了

You had me scared for a second, I thought we were diggin' my grave

你有一瞬間真的嚇到我了，我以為我們再挖掘我的墳墓

We did, what, you don't like bein' afraid?

我們是的，怎樣，你也不喜歡害怕的感覺嗎？

Here's a dose of your own medicine

這是你自己開給我的配方

What, you don't like how it tastes?

怎麼，你不喜歡它的滋味嗎？

My therapist told me don't bury my issues

我的心理治療師告訴我不要埋葬我的情緒

But I'ma be honest, man, I'm feelin' great!

但我必須老實的說，我現在感覺非常好！

I think it's only right we go back to where you were created

我想唯一的辦法就是回到你被創造的地方

I wrote a song for Johnny without you

我不用靠你就能給Johnny寫一首歌

But he ain't gon' like it, let's see how he takes it 

但他估計不會喜歡的，就看看他怎麼反應吧

He probably don't even remember us, does he?

或許他根本沒有記得我們，對吧？

I wish I was buryin' anger

我希望我現在是在把憤怒埋葬起來

But both of us know I'ma need him for that song, he still lives in the basement

但我們都知道我還需要用它來創作歌曲，到現在它都還在地下室裡

Almost done, shoulda done this a year ago, I don't know why I waited

你的墓碑就快要完成了，早就該在一年前完成了，我都不知道我在等什麼

You know how I get, I put everything off in my personal life, you hear what I'm sayin'? 

你知道我是怎麼得到這一切的，我把所有的私人生活都推遲了，你知道我在說什麼嗎？

That was a joke, yeah, it's hilarious, ain't it?

那是個笑話，很幽默吧？

You'll spend the rest of your life in my backyard or back of my mind, depends how you see it

你的下半輩子就待在我的後院或我的腦海吧，取決於你怎麼看的

Put the shovel away, time to go back in the house now, you'll be out in a week

把鏟子拿開吧，我是時候回到屋子裡去了，一星期後你才能出來

Tellin' me you want your room back, that's funny; what? You ain't got nowhere to sleep?

你現在又說你想要回你的房間？太好笑了吧，你沒有地方可以睡覺？

I'ma just look out the window and laugh at you, this is crazy to me

我只會透過窗戶看你，嘲笑你，這對我來說太瘋狂了

'Cause I thought you had me in prison this whole time

因為我曾以為是你把我囚禁在這座監牢裡

But I'm the one holdin' the keys 

但其實我才是手裡握著鑰匙的人

 

　　這整首歌都是在和他的恐懼對話，黑底的字是恐懼，藍色斜體的字是他自己，歌曲中提到的整個房子，其實就是他自己的內心，也對應他的專輯《Mansion》。

　　我第一次聽的時候心裡大受震撼：這個人是天才嗎？為什麼這麼會寫詞？怎麼這麼會比喻？為什麼對音樂的掌控力這麼好啊！（文盲的me狠狠忌妒）

　　從第一次聽到現在都還是處於一個每次聽每次震驚的狀態，而我也是因為聽到這首歌才知道NF，而且就成為他的粉絲，到目前為止就沒有聽過不好聽的，我根本選不出來我最喜歡的TOP 3。（ok intro iii 可以算一首）

　　但翻譯起來真的好久（可能這就是饒舌歌手），我原本還想翻Nate、Change、Lie，看來先讓我緩一下，但每次看他的詞我都覺得又學到新東西，又覺得寫的好棒（詞窮2.0）

 

'Cause I thought you had me in prison this whole time

因為我曾以為是你把我囚禁在這座監牢裡

But I'm the one holdin' the keys 

但其實我才是手裡握著鑰匙的人

 

　　就說絕不絕，看八百遍都還是覺得：好會寫！嗚嗚好喜歡！

20220416_期待一下Fight Club和這首歌的適配度